The Feelings In Me

i really do not know where to start off. well, i haven't really talked about what was LITERALLY happening between him and i. we've talked several times already: i've changed my mind, he haven't. i've changed my mind again, he haven't again. i've changed my mind again and again. but he haven't and i don't think he's deciding to. mmm, well that's good, isn't it ? i mean most women would wish for the opposite sex to be the following: intelligent, brave, respectful, funny, serious, down to earth, outgoing, gentleman, passionate, talented, handsome and most of all, convenient. i guess i have all of that in one already. like what could i ask for more ? i have mr. right; i just tend to do unnecessary decisions that falls to nothing.
i know i may have to do what i need to. but how about what i want ? what i want in life ? i can't do that ? am i banned on loving someone ? but why ? i know they may say, "get something you NEED, not WANT. then how can someone be happy when all they would do in life is what they'd have to, right ?
maybe i learned my lesson. maybe i am ready to come back or maybe not. this is another tough decision to make in my life. and yes, i said life. because he is my life.